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So sad and confusing…
This post REALLY isn’t about anything much.
Here’s how our days are spent. I’ll try to describe different days.
BEFORE we had the store —
5:30 wake up, make breakfast. Have coffee with hubby. Watch news or discuss stuff.
6:30 Husband leaves or work. I either finish my coffee and read, or run on Facebook, work out….go back to sleep whatever. This is my “me” time. (going back to sleep is a final option, if I’m REAAALLLY tired)
7:30 shower get dressed brush teeth
8:30 wake the kids, get them to eat breakfast. They can play for a while but they need to be dressed and teeth brushed by 10.
10:30 class begins. Used to be on Monday’s we’d have bible class ONLY, and Tuesday thru Thursday other subjects. Friday would be a free day and of course the weekend is free.
12:00 or 12:30 is lunch.
1 to 3 if there’s any more class to be had, we have it. (But the thing about homeschooling is that it doesn’t last all day the way regular school does. There’s only three of them, they’re all at different stages in their education. But not alot of time is spent in making people sit down and stay seated, or having to ask for water, or having to discipline. Walking in lines and all that nonsense.) If not, I’m cleaning up.
4 to 6 I’m preparing a meal. Usually I’d try to have a LITTLE something for him after 3p. Because of the way his job is set up, he could come home at any time and when a hard-working man comes home, he’s hungry. So you want him to be able to eat. So chips and guacamole, some tacos, some heat up tv meal, a sammich — something!
6 to 8 tentatively is dinner. I serve EVERYBODY before I get my own stuff. But I have a rule — after I sit down, I’m not getting up again before I’m done eating. Dont’ bother me. Get it yourself.
8 to 9 bedtime for the kids. Shower, whatever. Go to bed, darlings.
We’re in bed soon after. No later than 11:30p.
AFTER the store was opened —
Depends on the morning because hubby doesn’t work the same hours anymore, the main office is closer to home (not too close. It’s DALLAS — we ALLLL commute). So some mornings we’re up at 5:30 but more often than not: —
7 – make coffee. Have coffee and chill and talk.
7:30 – wake up the kids and start breakfast.
8 kids eat breakfast. Afterward, plates in sink, and they know to go brush teeth and put on clothes.
8:20 – shower (Husband leaves at SOME point. Just depends)
8:40 – trying to get out of here. We will leave at SOME point.
9 open the store
10:30 – snack time, then class begins DURING snack. We begin with history and REALLY history is me reading out loud and stopping to explain things and issues in the text to my little students. They ask questions, we may watch a video. Then we move on to other assignments.
12:30 lunch.
1-2 finish class.
3 or 4 my dad comes and gets them and they go home. That’s about the time it gets busy around here — teens are out of school, adults are starting to get off of work…
Husband shows up on and off during the day, whenever he can.
(7:15 is bath time for the kids whether they’ve had dinner yet or not)
8 we closing up
8:30 is dinner.
9:30 is bedtime for children. We either go to bed, or catch up on shows we like (Game of Thrones, Walking Dead, Doomsday Preppers, Bring it!, Big Bang Theory).
We are still in bed before 11:30
That’s pretty much every day. I know there’s a Friday Night women’s call concerning all things polygyny but you won’t find me on it because Friday night is Shabbat and I wanna spend it in my husband’s face talking to him, lol. Perhaps if it was on another day? We’re very family oriented anyway. And what we’ve learned through this journey called ‘Life’ (Electric word, ‘Life’ — it means forever. And that’s a mighty long time, but I’m here to tell you — there’s something else…) is that often all he and I have, is each other and our own selves at the end of the day. So I’m not a phone talker. If you not family or a close CLOSE friend, I’m not on the phone with you (and I don’t talk on the phone with close friends, either. We message all day on facebook, and we see each other when we can. No love lost ever).
That’s okay, though. We like each other. So it’s a good thing, the attachment we have with each other. If we ever stumble upon another wife I know he wants THAT kind of attachment with HER, too. But doesn’t seem like it’s gonna happen, so…
Just Us.
Oh, and Sundays are a little different but not by much. And so long as my dad’s there, I don’t have to wash a dish. He and I BOTH like washing dishes but I’m busy so there’s no longer a fight and a fuss between my dad and I over who’s gonna wash the dishes (“I AM!” “No, I AM!” lol).
ANNNNNDddd I got my sons to sort their own clothes after washing them, and to put them away!!!
Maybe next time I’ll address fully these “attachment” remarks. If I CARE. I’m flighty like that though — I’ll care right NOW, and then I won’t give a damn in a couple of days.
Peace out.
In some cultures, men can take wives and the other wives will not be able to say yea or nay on the matter.
The man will go off, acquire a new bride, bring her home and everyone is expected to adjust accordingly.
This seems, to me, to leaves wives in a position to where they have no say over who they will build a family with.
That type of polygyny makes me sad. We don’t have to be in any way alike, we don’t have to like any of the same things. We can be our own types of people. All I ask for is a team-player mentality, the WANT to build this empire for the betterment of all of us.
There are women who are preaching that NO, the existing wives should have NO SAY. I SUSPECT it’s because they themselves are recently acquired wives and perhaps the existing wives were saying no to her being the one to join the family. And the husband invoked his “you have no say”-ness to it, and married her anyway. These women have no loyalty to the Universal Sisterhood of All Women, which dictates that you don’t allow these kinds of things to happen to your sister. You don’t allow her “choice” to be taken away.
What about existing wives in monogamy that DONT want a polygynous relationship?
YOU SHOULD NEVER EVER FORCE THEM. Even if you feel as if it’s your God-given right! YOU DONT DO IT. You’ve already got a wife. You should love her in the same way that you love yourself! You’d never FORCE yourself in such a situation. No — you value yourself TOO MUCH for that!
You can try convincing her, you can educate her on it, you can insist she read up on it and at least CONSIDER changing her view of it. But if she’s a decent wife, caring for house and home…and loving you…there’s no reason other than selfishness to steamroll past her dislike of polygyny. Don’t hurt that relationship with her for something that MAY NOT WORK OUT ANYWAY, thanks to the brokenness of people’s minds today.
You’ll be like that dog who had a small bone and when he looked in the water he saw a dog with a larger bone. He was unaware that this was his reflection and decided that he wanted THAT dogs bone. But in order to get THAT larger bone, he’d have to drop his own bone. So he let out a fierce bark and dropped his bone. He went after what he saw as the larger bone, and lost his small bone in the process. When he jumped in the water, the dog he saw, and it’s larger bone, disappeared.
…You don’t do that.
Please. Allow your wives to have a say. When they say it, dig into why they feel the way they feel and give it a consideration. You owe it to them, because you’d want people to do that for you in such a MAJOR situation (because taking on wives is NOT child’s play — wives are people with feelings, emotions, personalities, mindsets, etc and they deserve respect and consideration).
Ban Bossy Site
“When a little boy asserts himself, he’s called a “leader.” Yet when a little girl does the same, she risks being branded “bossy.” Words like bossy send a message: don’t raise your hand or speak up. By middle school, girls are less interested in leading than boys—a trend that continues into adulthood. Together we can encourage girls to lead.”
Bossy — Kelis
boss·y
1 [baw-see, bos-ee]
adjective, boss·i·er, boss·i·est.
given to ordering people about; overly authoritative; domineering.
Related forms
boss·i·ly, adverb
boss·i·ness, noun
Synonyms
highhanded, officious, dictational; overbearing, abrasive.
highhanded, officious, dictational; overbearing, abrasive.
So now they’ve got this entire campaign on removing the word bossy, in an effort to promote women to be leaders.
Please make note of the definition above — NOT just authoritative, but overly authoritative. There’s a DIFFERENCE. See the SYNONYMS?? ABRASIVE. OVERBEARING.
No. The word should NOT be done away with.
ANYONE in my entire life that I’ve considered “bossy”, has been someone who had those qualities! They talked about these types of children organizing the play of others — but whenever I played with a bossy child, if I got tired of playing with them, or didn’t want to do it THEIR way, they’d get MAD. They didn’t want to do it any way but their OWN. They weren’t “nice” play mates. Alot of other children may have been more than happy to comply and do what they wanted. But if you DIDNT, you were kicked out of the circle. You were snubbed, isolated and ostracized…
They want to take the word bossy and point it at women like Oprah or Beyonce and other successful women of our day. But I’ll tell you, the women I grew up with who were bossy, they aren’t doing ANYTHING. They aren’t SUCCESSFUL. They are alpha females in their tiny, hood neighborhoods. Queen to a set of bitches who aren’t doing any better than they are. Still, years later, doing everything this one person wants to do.
I’ve seen bossy. I don’t like bossy.
I’ll play along for a while, but at SOME point, Rebecca’s gonna wanna do what Rebecca’s gonna do. And if you and your bossiness obstructs that in ANY WAY — I’ll plow you down.
In the socially accepted understanding of the term, an alpha is the head of a social system. Everyone does what the alpha wants. The alpha is stronger than the rest, and is able to subdue the others with that strength in a myriad of ways.
I get it.
But MOST of the time I am pretty much on the outside of whatever the social system is. I am NEVER popular. But I am KNOWN. And while my actions may not necessarily be wicked or vile, I am more INFAMOUS than Famous. My reputation has ALWAYS preceded me. And what’s amazing to me, is that becoming an adult has not changed that.
People are still bossy. And I’m STILL infamous. OMG.
I don’t get along with bossy people. I’m a leader — people listen to me. People try to emulate me. They may not ADMIT it, but they know it’s true. I do what I want. I move how I want to move. There’s always someone there to recognize the forward movement of my actions and activities. And while they may say nothing next thing you see… is them attempting to do it. EVEN if they’ve spoken ill of me. EVEN if they’ve painted me to be a horrible person, because I WONT PLAY THE GAME THEY WANT ME TO PLAY.
I am the one…that comes out on TOP. Often I’ll tell a person what I did and EXACTLY how I did it and they’ll try to do it that same way and they mess it all up. Mainly because they’re not me. And so what is in me is missing, because it’s not in them…
I’m still an alpha, I’m just not an alpha when we look at the social set up. But I’m an alpha because I move you. You don’t move me. Even from outside of the construct. I cause movement. And I’m not bossy with it. Ever.
I married a man who’s more this kind of alpha than I am. We are a good match. They talk SO BAD about my husband. Don’t they? lol
But they try to BE him. They try to do what he’s done, move the way he moves in life. And they crash and burn. And it makes them hate him even more.
We are…an effective team.
…we all are.
Back in the day of me writing notes on Facebook (and if you’re a facebook friend, you can go check it out), every once in a while, I would give a disclaimer on my page.
I haven’t done a disclaimer in 2 years.
The disclaimer read something like this: I AM NEVER 100% REAL. People who say that, are lying to themselves. I am PROBABLY 80% real. I am MANY things. I have MANY likes. If I haven’t told you something about me, it’s not that I LIED about it. It’s PROBABLY because I dont know you like that.
People that don’t have discretion, they really suck ass. You don’t have to tell people EVERYTHING about you, and fuck those that think you do. Everything about me that I don’t say directly to people is on a need-to-know basis.
And I’ve made a video saying it, yesterday. Driving in the car. I don’t have time to post it, but I will.
I don’t have to tell anyone everything about me. What FOR??
Is this not enough for you??
What happens to people, is that they’ll agree with me on a particular subject, and they’ll think “OHMAGOD, we’re TOTALLY alike!” because we agree! The FACT is — you don’t know WHAT I think about other things. And over the years on social media, people have sought me out, to link with me, over that ONE THING we have in common. And THATS FINE, but — and my “About” section addresses it — Please know there’s more to me than that ONE THING. (here’s my about section from facebook — you gotta scroll all the way down tho, I think — (You’ve probably assumed that you know something about who I am or what I stand for. And most likely, you’re incorrect. You can’t REALLY know who I am, or how I am from a few internet posts. It’s not even the tip of the iceberg. If you have a problem with any of this I’d suggest you go find a life outside of here. Go get some sun… 
#ASSUMENOTHING Dont assume that I think like you, that I believe EXACTLY what you believe, that I am in any way shape form or fashion anything LIKE you, just because we have one or two things in common. Over here = maddness in a pretty package. For the most part. The sooner you accept that about me, the better we’ll get along.”
I have told people this A THOUSAND TIMES.
BECAUSE WHEN YOU REALIZE THAT YOU AND I ARE DIFFERENT ON OTHER THINGS, YOU FLIP OUT AND YOU SAY IM INCONSISTENT. NO! I’m CONSISTENTLY REBECCA, AKA DREAMGYRL360. But YOU DONT KNOW ME, so YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT CONSISTENT REBECCA *IS*.
That’s why it’s a stupid statement.
I don’t live this life for you. I do what I want to do with my life. I grow and change, I ebb and I flow. So do you, and if you don’t, you’re a rather BORING individual. I do whatever it is I want to do with my life. But you want to be freaked out and upset about things when you hear some shit about me that YOU DONT EVEN KNOW IF IT’S TRUE OR NOT, because you’re holding me to some set of values that you MAY set for YOURSELF — or you MAY have set it for ME because you THOUGHT I was who you THOUGHT I was… because of that ONE perception that YOU had about me.
…And aint no “let us get to know you” WHY YOU DONT EVEN LIVE HERE. You know what you NEED to know about me. You move to Dallas, come visit me at my store, let’s go out, let’s go eat — let’s get some DRINKS (yes; I drink alcohol the Bible doesn’t speak against it but Christianity might, depending on your church lol). GET IN MY FACE AND GET TO KNOW ME.
You don’t know ANYBODY on Facebook. You don’t know anyone over the phone — you don’t know what their life is like. You don’t know their conditions or what they’re doing…
Oh, and the reason I make polygyny videos and yet never had any real polygynous experience is because it is something that interests me. PLUS black women weren’t really addressing the topic when I began. POLYGYNOUS PEOPLE DONT TALK ABOUT THEIR SITUATIONS ON VIDEO TYPICALLY, MAINLY BECAUSE IT’S ILLEGAL. But I knew a few of them then and I know a slew of them, now. So I make the videos.
If you don’t like what I say, or how I bring it, because you don’t like me (not as if anything I’ve said was incorrect) MAKE YOUR OWN OR SHUT UP.
Okay this concludes my vents for today.
…did you know that loyalty is more important to me than love in a relationship?
(Don’t believe the nonsense you hear — I love Cepha, very much. He loves me. We find each other extremely attractive. We are gentle with each other most of the time)
Loyalty is so very important.
When you’re loyal, you stick to your agreements. Whether you’re “in love” or not, you make sure to uphold your end of things. When you’re loyal, and things end, YOU don’t come out looking like things were your fault.
You shouldn’t make a relationship with a person that’s not loyal to you. If they are smiling in your face but running off to people who don’t like you, to talk shit about you (if you’re lucky enough to find out about it), you don’t be with that person. That person’s best interest is not the unit. That person’s interest is not the TEAM. Its’ themSELVES.
So leave them to themselves. That’d be the smartest thing to do.
When I have a relationship issue, and I need to turn to someone, I turn to women who have had long, successful marriages. I turn to people that are FOR the success of MY relationship with my husband. I don’t look for someone who doesn’t like him anyway, to talk to and agree in my griping. And I DONT talk to people who tell me to leave. (If he was beating or neglecting me, I could understand the sentiment for me to leave — but I don’t need anyone to tell me to leave from that. I’d be gone). I don’t believe in leaving before you’ve given your all.
You don’t seek out single women to help you with your relationship issue. I just don’t believe in that. I know single women think they have good advice. I know DIVORCED women think they have good advice. But I take what they say with a grain of salt. Because often it seems that their conclusion for everything is “leave him!” “Kick him out!” “Divorce him!” and in my head I’m like “Gee…just for that??…naaah”
I ALSO don’t advise a woman seeking out a man’s advice on her relationship issues. EVEN if he’s a minister, rabbi, imam, or boss. The ONLY time I’d be okay with that is if his wife is sitting right there, and is able to give HER view on it, as well. No matter how nice or righteous a man seems, it’s just better to err on the side of caution on that. I hear often of women pouring their hearts out to some man about the problems in their relationship and the man uses the woman’s vulnerable disposition to convince her to seek more than comfort from him.
No — I have some people in my corner that I wholeheartedly trust their advice. My mother is one, Emah AnaYah is another. I know I can always bend their ear, and I know that they will give me reasonable advice and even tell me if I was wrong for doing this or that or the other. I don’t need people that say I did the right thing but know damn well I was wrong, hanging around me trying to give me advice.
I gotta take my hair down ASAP. But I’m so busy… the store is growing exponentially, along with the amount of customers. They’re nice, my customers. They like me well enough to return constantly. We haven’t had any shoplifters, and I think it’s because the cameras are everywhere, and the flatscreen on the wall is showing people that they’re being watched. Humans steal less when they think they’re being watched — you could paint an eye on the wall and it would still subconsciously affect them the same way — isn’t that crazy? That’s science, right there.
Shalom!
“MOST females will ALWAYS BLAME a man or make excuses for THEIR POOR CHOICES that created their DYSFUNCTIONAL or DISAPPOINTING life.
MOST males will ALWAYS BE STUPID enough to ALLOW a problematic and illogical female to MAKE DECISIONS for him.” – Jai Duval
Please understand he’s not speaking on all women. But he makes a VERY good point.
(“WHAT in the WORLD?!?” I hear you saying. This is my disclaimer — our family will only have black people in it)
Sometimes the question comes up in polygynous circles “What if a man has wives of different races?” Can this work?
I don’t think it can work very often. I think the idea of it working is very slim. I know of ONE family, in the UK, off in the country, that is interracial (one wife is white/European and the other wife is bi-racial/black) and they are doing well. They’ve been together probably 7 years, maybe 8.
But the UK and their race relations is often not as disparaging and oppressing as what goes on here in the US.
The fear of most black women is that their black husband has some sort of “white girl fetish”, and therefore will not be able to treat both of his wives fairly because of his obsession. That is probably the fear of a white woman with her white husband, in the other direction.
We, as black women, know how some black men are just sooo in love with the idea of having a white woman. It’s not about him liking her because of who she is and the “content” of her “character”, as MLK Jr. said. It’s about her being WHITE. They like her white skin, her straight hair, her thin facial features, and it MAY be because of what the American media puts forward as the majority opinion of beauty. Because of that fetish (which is a SICKNESS — ALL fetishes are an illness, no matter how “innocent” it seems), it’s hard to see where he will be able to treat both of his wives with the same level of fairness.
PLUS, black people, we have alot of issues that are ignored/not addressed in America. There are things the typical white person will understand. And I know there are interracial couples where the black person just shrugs and says “He/she doesn’t understand, but it’s not something I try to explain. Let’s just ignore the issues for the sake of love”. But now you’ve got one more person in the relationship, which makes it harder to ignore.
If a black man has two wives, one black and one white, and a racial discussion ensues — will the man take the black woman’s side because of racial loyalty, or will he take the white woman’s side, so as to not have her feel bad and left out? Which side is the “right” side to take?
Just adding extra confusion (racial issues) onto something that’s already extra (polygyny), onto something that’s already confusing (a relationship) in the first place.
And what about CHILDREN. You know how black people are — light-skinned/biracial children are often called “pretty” far more often in relation to darker-skinned/not-mixed children. How does one deal with that??
I’m not 100% opposed to giving it a try, but these are the reasons that the idea is a no-go to me, in this country.
(Again my husband does not see white women as attractive. So I dont think it’d ever be an issue in our house.)
…what do you think?
I’m<a href=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLgfrrsa5QU”> blind to you</a>…
I see many things very clearly right now.
Most people that dislike me, dislike me for no REAL reason. You see — I don’t dislike people until they do something to ME, directly.
When you do something to ME, or my FAMILY — then hey, I’ll dislike you. THAT MAKES SENSE, RIGHT?
People dislike me for the following reasons: I’m smart, I’m slim, I’m attractive, I’m successful, I’m nice, and most importantly, I have a connection to The Most High.
A friend of mine said, when you deal with conflict and when you’re forced to deal with it publicly, who your friends are and who they aren’t becomes quite evident.
When the Hebrews read about The Messiah, they were excited and looked forward to His coming.
When He came — they were jealous of Him, and hated Him and sought to kill Him (and succeeded).
When all I did were videos and blogs about polygyny and other related issues, people liked/loved me, and were excited at the idea of chatting with me in these facebook groups.
When I came — people became jealous, they now hate me, and while they don’t necessary seek to end my life, they’d certainly like to kill my character.
(I am not remotely saying I’m anything close as awesome to The Messiah. I’m saying this is what happens to ANYBODY who ends up being “too much” for those around them to digest.)
And yet — the more I wake up, the stronger I become. The more you show me yourselves…the more I understand myself and my relationship to this world.
I know better now, than to come down to where they are. NO THANKS — until I find people similar to who I am, I will not bother to converse with those that plot for my demise.
When I become something bigger than I am now, don’t say you ever knew me — you never did. You never tried.
Those that like/love me, believe me when I say I like/love you back. If you bear me no ill will then I, too, bear you none.
But I Don’t Like People Who Don’t Like Me. Never ever. N That’s a Fact.
I’ve broached this subject before, repeatedly.
I just wanted to point out some things —
1. Adam and Eve being a monogamous relationship is NOT indicating The Most High’s favor TOWARD monogamous relationships. It is only an example of a man and woman being together. THAT IS ALL. That is reflected in all marital relationships in the Bible. There are NO same-sex marriages in the Bible. There are NO inter-species marriages in the Bible. You know why? Because these acts are FORBIDDEN/PROHIBITED by the Bible.
2. Arguments and negative situations in a polygynous relationship in the Bible is NOT indicative of The Most High being against polygyny! Monogamous relationships currently have a divorce rate of AROUND 50% in the United States, at least. NO marital relationship is going to be perfect! Whether it’s polygyny or monogamy, it’s the PEOPLE that will make or break it, not the relationship dynamic itself!
3. Verses concerning adultery and divorce have NOTHING TO DO with polygyny (UNLESS someone polygynous has committed adultery or gotten a divorce!) Adultery is the act of a man having sex with a married woman (NOT married to HIM). Divorce is the act of putting a wife away, or chosing NOT to be married to her anymore…
4. Men in the Bible taking foreign wives and being punished for it is NOT indicative of The Most High being against polygyny! The Most High SPECIFICALLY STATED that Hebrew men were NOT to take foreign women, and HE CALLED IT — he said they’d be led to worship other gods and HE WAS RIGHT AND IT HAPPENED EVERY TIME. That would have happened if the man and woman were MONOGAMOUS or POLYGYNOUS — the relationship dynamic had no bearing on their punishment!
5. Just because YOU feel it’s wrong DOESNT MEAN THAT ITS WRONG! People feel slavery was wrong — but slaves and slave masters were all in the Bible. Slavery is an economic system and NOT ONLY did it build the very country we live in (America… *ahem*), but IT IS STILL GOING ON TODAY.
Your FEELINGS have ABSOLUTELY NO BEARING on The Word of The Most High! Have you EVER analyzed why you feel the way you do about it? COULD IT BE BECAUSE YOU LIVE IN A COUNTRY BASED ON ROMAN PRINCIPLES — WHERE POLYGYNY IS WRONG, BUT SERIAL MONOGAMY AND AFFAIRS(and homosexual sex) WAS THE NAME OF THE DAY?? So because SOCIETY thinks it’s WRONG and it was BRED INTO YOU that it’s wrong, don’t you think that might have SOMETHING to do with why you feel that way?
Face it — the Bible doesn’t AGREE with you. In FACT, The Most High gave rules FOR polygyny.
When you are against polygyny I understand how hard it can be to change that. Our society feeds us monogamy as the ideal form of marriage — but it ALSO feeds us ALOT of other stuff that is completely backward and ridiculous.
The Bible NEVER speaks against polygyny, but it’s obvious that it happened then, and it happened now, and NEVER does The Most High pit himself against any of the men that practiced it for that reason.
STOP ADDING TO THE WORD OF THE MOST HIGH!
Deuteronomy 4:2 HNV
You shall not add
to the word which I command you, neither shall you diminish from it, that you may keep the mitzvot of the YHWH your Elohim, which I command you.
Deuteronomy 12:32 HNV
Whatever thing I command you, that shall you observe to do:
you shall not add thereto,
nor diminish from it.
Revelations 22:18 HNV
I testify to every man who hears the words of the prophecy of this book,
if anyone adds to them, may YHWH add to him the plagues which are written in this book.
Coarse: A Blog 