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Our businesses have us parents (mommies and daddy) working almost around the clock — my co works at the store most days, and I work from home for my husband’s company. Before the summer came, I was still trying to homeschool AND do the work the company required, but I became overwhelmed. My husband’s suggestion was to let the children have summer break — “Other kids break for the summer; they can, too.” So we did that. Now summer’s done for public school children, but I still have the same workload I had before.
But today, I just had enough. I MISS MY KIDS. I miss educating them, I miss talking to them about fundamental things. This summer we’ve had a blurb here and there — we’re an education-on-demand kind of family, so if a child asks an educational question, we stop everything, look it up, and discuss it. But I miss having that carved out time to our day.
So I forced myself to carve out some time — even though I was stopping to take phone calls, work on spreadsheets, and send and receive important emails. I was happy to find that the remembered pretty much everything from where we left off — that made ME happy, it means to ME at least that I’m doing a good job.
You want to open a business in order to generate income to make it easier for your family, you want to open a business in order to give you more time with your family, you want to open a business in order to leave a legacy of some sort to your children — but that business has to be BUILT.
My sister in law is coming on board to assist with husband’s company — that will free me up slightly but it will probably be another month after she comes on before she is acclimated and I can fully step away from the portion she’ll be taking over. I expect that. But after THAT, I expect to be able to give homeschooling more time — we can unschool, and that’s okay, but I’ve never wanted to fully unschool. I believe little structuring and guidance is needed.
That’s all I wanted. We’re so very busy around here! *I* think we’re pretty much a blended family. We’re getting there. Nobody’s perfect around here! But we’re striving to become one unit. That requires patience on one part, and discipline on the other. It also requires us to WANT for that to happen.
She (my co-wife/sister-wife) is probably my best friend right now. I have my best friends but we’re all so busy and our lives aren’t exactly looking the same these days, so we don’t talk often, although we love each other very much. But she and I are living the same life, pretty much, everything we have and everything we are is intertwined, because we are loving the same husband.
She’s actually under the weather today (VERY — she threw up a few times this morning and NO IT’S NOT MORNING SICKNESS, it’s a bug because the kids have all had some form of it in the last couple of weeks). I’m not a doter, I’m not a helicopter type of person, but I’m trying to make sure she’s hydrated, and make sure she’s okay to go to the store. She went to the store, but I was willing to go, AND take my laptop with me to work from there, if I needed to.
Okay it took me all day to type this up because I’m so busy so let me get back to it! I gotta find out the dates for Yom Teruah and Yom Kippur!! I hope I’m not too late…
In some cultures, men can take wives and the other wives will not be able to say yea or nay on the matter.
The man will go off, acquire a new bride, bring her home and everyone is expected to adjust accordingly.
This seems, to me, to leaves wives in a position to where they have no say over who they will build a family with.
That type of polygyny makes me sad. We don’t have to be in any way alike, we don’t have to like any of the same things. We can be our own types of people. All I ask for is a team-player mentality, the WANT to build this empire for the betterment of all of us.
There are women who are preaching that NO, the existing wives should have NO SAY. I SUSPECT it’s because they themselves are recently acquired wives and perhaps the existing wives were saying no to her being the one to join the family. And the husband invoked his “you have no say”-ness to it, and married her anyway. These women have no loyalty to the Universal Sisterhood of All Women, which dictates that you don’t allow these kinds of things to happen to your sister. You don’t allow her “choice” to be taken away.
What about existing wives in monogamy that DONT want a polygynous relationship?
YOU SHOULD NEVER EVER FORCE THEM. Even if you feel as if it’s your God-given right! YOU DONT DO IT. You’ve already got a wife. You should love her in the same way that you love yourself! You’d never FORCE yourself in such a situation. No — you value yourself TOO MUCH for that!
You can try convincing her, you can educate her on it, you can insist she read up on it and at least CONSIDER changing her view of it. But if she’s a decent wife, caring for house and home…and loving you…there’s no reason other than selfishness to steamroll past her dislike of polygyny. Don’t hurt that relationship with her for something that MAY NOT WORK OUT ANYWAY, thanks to the brokenness of people’s minds today.
You’ll be like that dog who had a small bone and when he looked in the water he saw a dog with a larger bone. He was unaware that this was his reflection and decided that he wanted THAT dogs bone. But in order to get THAT larger bone, he’d have to drop his own bone. So he let out a fierce bark and dropped his bone. He went after what he saw as the larger bone, and lost his small bone in the process. When he jumped in the water, the dog he saw, and it’s larger bone, disappeared.
…You don’t do that.
Please. Allow your wives to have a say. When they say it, dig into why they feel the way they feel and give it a consideration. You owe it to them, because you’d want people to do that for you in such a MAJOR situation (because taking on wives is NOT child’s play — wives are people with feelings, emotions, personalities, mindsets, etc and they deserve respect and consideration).