…did you know that loyalty is more important to me than love in a relationship?
(Don’t believe the nonsense you hear — I love Cepha, very much. He loves me. We find each other extremely attractive. We are gentle with each other most of the time)
Loyalty is so very important.
When you’re loyal, you stick to your agreements. Whether you’re “in love” or not, you make sure to uphold your end of things. When you’re loyal, and things end, YOU don’t come out looking like things were your fault.
You shouldn’t make a relationship with a person that’s not loyal to you. If they are smiling in your face but running off to people who don’t like you, to talk shit about you (if you’re lucky enough to find out about it), you don’t be with that person. That person’s best interest is not the unit. That person’s interest is not the TEAM. Its’ themSELVES.
So leave them to themselves. That’d be the smartest thing to do.
When I have a relationship issue, and I need to turn to someone, I turn to women who have had long, successful marriages. I turn to people that are FOR the success of MY relationship with my husband. I don’t look for someone who doesn’t like him anyway, to talk to and agree in my griping. And I DONT talk to people who tell me to leave. (If he was beating or neglecting me, I could understand the sentiment for me to leave — but I don’t need anyone to tell me to leave from that. I’d be gone). I don’t believe in leaving before you’ve given your all.
You don’t seek out single women to help you with your relationship issue. I just don’t believe in that. I know single women think they have good advice. I know DIVORCED women think they have good advice. But I take what they say with a grain of salt. Because often it seems that their conclusion for everything is “leave him!” “Kick him out!” “Divorce him!” and in my head I’m like “Gee…just for that??…naaah”
I ALSO don’t advise a woman seeking out a man’s advice on her relationship issues. EVEN if he’s a minister, rabbi, imam, or boss. The ONLY time I’d be okay with that is if his wife is sitting right there, and is able to give HER view on it, as well. No matter how nice or righteous a man seems, it’s just better to err on the side of caution on that. I hear often of women pouring their hearts out to some man about the problems in their relationship and the man uses the woman’s vulnerable disposition to convince her to seek more than comfort from him.
No — I have some people in my corner that I wholeheartedly trust their advice. My mother is one, Emah AnaYah is another. I know I can always bend their ear, and I know that they will give me reasonable advice and even tell me if I was wrong for doing this or that or the other. I don’t need people that say I did the right thing but know damn well I was wrong, hanging around me trying to give me advice.
I gotta take my hair down ASAP. But I’m so busy… the store is growing exponentially, along with the amount of customers. They’re nice, my customers. They like me well enough to return constantly. We haven’t had any shoplifters, and I think it’s because the cameras are everywhere, and the flatscreen on the wall is showing people that they’re being watched. Humans steal less when they think they’re being watched — you could paint an eye on the wall and it would still subconsciously affect them the same way — isn’t that crazy? That’s science, right there.
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