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*sigh* I’m under the weather. My kids are under the weather. Nothing really — allergies, or sinuses. Maybe it’s a cold. Runny noses, stuffy noses (at the same damn time), a little fever, headaches, itchy throats. Probably allergies.
I LOOK sick. 
Being black and all, my skin and I have a special relationship with the sun. That Vitamin D is my skin’s best friend.
So I’m sick. I’m extremely pale, so the darkness under my eyes is real prominent. Then they are a bit swollen underneath — mainly because I’m up all night from stuffy nose syndrome. 
I don’t care. 
I am just not a make up person, no matter how I try to be.
So here I am, in here clear-faced. Sickly looking. 
The store is doing well enough. Our customers are nice. Even the girls who tried robbing us a couple of weeks ago — they were nice, too. Sometimes women have attitudes. And for the life of me I cannot understand why. 
I don’t have attitude with people who are servicing me. 
I don’t care what’s going on in my life. I don’t take it out on people who are not the object of my ire. 
I don’t give a damn about you being tired, sad, angry at something that happened outside of talking to me. When you take it out on me I get REALLY frustrated with YOU. 
I don’t care if someone DIED. Real talk. Be nice to me. I’m not the one who caused the death. I mean APOLOGIZE for heaven’s sake — *I* do “I’m sorry if I’m coming off some kind of way. So-n-so died the other day.”
…I baby my senior customers. I run around and get everything for them. I heap samples on them. I don’t know why. I just love them so much. They’re all my granties. One of them saw me at the convenience store. She gave me a hug and a kiss on my cheek.
I take care of my itty bitty customers, too. I give them things. Just give them anything. A little girl who only has a dollar and wants a 0.99 cent lip gloss — plus tax it’s gonna be $1.07. I take the dollar and give it to them. A little girl who really wants something but can’t buy it — I’ll give them some little gift.
I’d keep candy back here but I DO have my own kids. So. No. lol That wouldn’t be wise. lol
I need a nap. 
I miss my friends. They’re running around going out doing all this stuff. 
Opening a business is supposed to cause you to work hard NOW, so you can do all this stuff later. So I hope it works out.

You know what I’m tired of?
I’m tired of people disliking me for shit that had nothing to do with them.
(I knoooowww I said I was gonna work on the cussing. It’s hard)
I’ve said it before in life and I’ll say it again — people start out at 100% with me. I don’t EVER dislike anyone off the bat and I’ll never understand people that are like that. What I got to dislike you for when you’ve done nothing to me? You have to directly do something to ME for me to dislike you.
So I don’t understand why people take up other people’s plights for them and choose to hate/hate on people because that so-called “friend” of theirs hates them.
I’m so not like that, it’s not even funny.
I’ll never understand it. 

…a customer/business associate came in. 
My customers make my day better.

…did you know that loyalty is more important to me than love in a relationship?
(Don’t believe the nonsense you hear — I love Cepha, very much. He loves me. We find each other extremely attractive. We are gentle with each other most of the time)
Loyalty is so very important.
When you’re loyal, you stick to your agreements. Whether you’re “in love” or not, you make sure to uphold your end of things. When you’re loyal, and things end, YOU don’t come out looking like things were your fault.
You shouldn’t make a relationship with a person that’s not loyal to you. If they are smiling in your face but running off to people who don’t like you, to talk shit about you (if you’re lucky enough to find out about it), you don’t be with that person. That person’s best interest is not the unit. That person’s interest is not the TEAM. Its’ themSELVES.
So leave them to themselves. That’d be the smartest thing to do.

When I have a relationship issue, and I need to turn to someone, I turn to women who have had long, successful marriages. I turn to people that are FOR the success of MY relationship with my husband. I don’t look for someone who doesn’t like him anyway, to talk to and agree in my griping. And I DONT talk to people who tell me to leave. (If he was beating or neglecting me, I could understand the sentiment for me to leave — but I don’t need anyone to tell me to leave from that. I’d be gone). I don’t believe in leaving before you’ve given your all. 
You don’t seek out single women to help you with your relationship issue. I just don’t believe in that. I know single women think they have good advice. I know DIVORCED women think they have good advice. But I take what they say with a grain of salt. Because often it seems that their conclusion for everything is “leave him!” “Kick him out!” “Divorce him!” and in my head I’m like “Gee…just for that??…naaah”
I ALSO don’t advise a woman seeking out a man’s advice on her relationship issues. EVEN if he’s a minister, rabbi, imam, or boss. The ONLY time I’d be okay with that is if his wife is sitting right there, and is able to give HER view on it, as well. No matter how nice or righteous a man seems, it’s just better to err on the side of caution on that. I hear often of women pouring their hearts out to some man about the problems in their relationship and the man uses the woman’s vulnerable disposition to convince her to seek more than comfort from him.

No — I have some people in my corner that I wholeheartedly trust their advice. My mother is one, Emah AnaYah is another. I know I can always bend their ear, and I know that they will give me reasonable advice and even tell me if I was wrong for doing this or that or the other. I don’t need people that say I did the right thing but know damn well I was wrong, hanging around me trying to give me advice. 

I gotta take my hair down ASAP. But I’m so busy… the store is growing exponentially, along with the amount of customers. They’re nice, my customers. They like me well enough to return constantly. We haven’t had any shoplifters, and I think it’s because the cameras are everywhere, and the flatscreen on the wall is showing people that they’re being watched. Humans steal less when they think they’re being watched — you could paint an eye on the wall and it would still subconsciously affect them the same way — isn’t that crazy? That’s science, right there.