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So with THAT being the case, you just putting the call out there like that and thinking it’s going to be inviting and received and women just gone be like “Yeeh we wanna join up wit HIM” is not realistic at all.
And this ALSO leads to the FACT that POLYGYNY MAY NOT HAPPEN FOR YOU!! NO MATTER HOW MANY DREAMS YOU HAVE OF NATION-BUILDING, HAVING ALL THESE WOMEN IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD AND ALL THESE BABIES — THAT DOESN’T MEAN YOU’RE GONNA GET IT! It doesn’t matter how GOOD you are, how RIGHT you are, how financially responsible you ARE, it doesn’t MATTER — NONE of it matters because there are multiple men/families purporting to be JUST AS GOOD as you are, all to the SAME WOMAN you are chasing after! And GUESS WHAT?? SHE might not be very good at making decisions in relationships ANYWAY — so IF you are the best choice she may not even SEE you like that. So off SHE goes with someone else.
Everything you’re moving toward — everything you’re thinking about when it comes to polygyny — is predicated on fantastical bullshit.
…and I know you guys want the REAL-real — you want to hear from real life polygynous families and what they go through, because you think it will help. but IT MAY NOT. It might not. The human ego is a HUGE thing. Husbands will look at that family and tell themselves “I’m just like HIM”and they’re NOT — women will look at the wives in the family and say “That is SO me!” and they’re NOT — because if you don’t live with those people and see them for more than a few hours in a day you don’t have any idea WHO they are OR what they’re actually like, you only see a portion of who they are, they only tell you about a portion of themselves, their love for each other is too complicated, their arguments are too complicated, their lives are too complicated for you to REALLY “see yourself” in these people.
Sometimes those that have done polygyny or are DOING polygyny can look at what people post in here and we already know who is PROBABLY not cut out for this.
There’s no point in telling you this, because you’re not going to LISTEN, you still want to TRY and when you TRY you will find out the truth of the situation and you’ll understand yourself THEN — the REAL you that you couldn’t see — and you’ll either put your adult drawls on and do your best to be a good person in spite of yourself, or you’ll make all the mistakes I’ve loosely mentioned.
But I hope you understand ONE point I was trying to make — don’t play with people’s lives, don’t play with their hearts and emotions just because YOU don’t know who YOU are. You can’t move a woman in, and THEN find she’s not a good fit and send her on her way. You can’t bring a sister in as your co, THEN feel some type of way when she doesn’t agree with your disciplining methods , and then want her gone. You can’t join a family, and then when you see all the shit they got going on, want to back out.
Do what you can to TRULY know who you are and what you can handle. You’re still not going to know until you get off in there, and really some questions and some things just can’t be answered until you get in the thing and then and ONLY then will you know and understand yourself.
But know I TRIED to warn you and I TRIED to get you to look within…
Ban Bossy Site
“When a little boy asserts himself, he’s called a “leader.” Yet when a little girl does the same, she risks being branded “bossy.” Words like bossy send a message: don’t raise your hand or speak up. By middle school, girls are less interested in leading than boys—a trend that continues into adulthood. Together we can encourage girls to lead.”
Bossy — Kelis
1 [baw-see, bos-ee]
highhanded, officious, dictational; overbearing, abrasive.
So now they’ve got this entire campaign on removing the word bossy, in an effort to promote women to be leaders.
Please make note of the definition above — NOT just authoritative, but overly authoritative. There’s a DIFFERENCE. See the SYNONYMS?? ABRASIVE. OVERBEARING.
No. The word should NOT be done away with.
ANYONE in my entire life that I’ve considered “bossy”, has been someone who had those qualities! They talked about these types of children organizing the play of others — but whenever I played with a bossy child, if I got tired of playing with them, or didn’t want to do it THEIR way, they’d get MAD. They didn’t want to do it any way but their OWN. They weren’t “nice” play mates. Alot of other children may have been more than happy to comply and do what they wanted. But if you DIDNT, you were kicked out of the circle. You were snubbed, isolated and ostracized…
They want to take the word bossy and point it at women like Oprah or Beyonce and other successful women of our day. But I’ll tell you, the women I grew up with who were bossy, they aren’t doing ANYTHING. They aren’t SUCCESSFUL. They are alpha females in their tiny, hood neighborhoods. Queen to a set of bitches who aren’t doing any better than they are. Still, years later, doing everything this one person wants to do.
I’ve seen bossy. I don’t like bossy.
I’ll play along for a while, but at SOME point, Rebecca’s gonna wanna do what Rebecca’s gonna do. And if you and your bossiness obstructs that in ANY WAY — I’ll plow you down.
In the socially accepted understanding of the term, an alpha is the head of a social system. Everyone does what the alpha wants. The alpha is stronger than the rest, and is able to subdue the others with that strength in a myriad of ways.
I get it.
But MOST of the time I am pretty much on the outside of whatever the social system is. I am NEVER popular. But I am KNOWN. And while my actions may not necessarily be wicked or vile, I am more INFAMOUS than Famous. My reputation has ALWAYS preceded me. And what’s amazing to me, is that becoming an adult has not changed that.
People are still bossy. And I’m STILL infamous. OMG.
I don’t get along with bossy people. I’m a leader — people listen to me. People try to emulate me. They may not ADMIT it, but they know it’s true. I do what I want. I move how I want to move. There’s always someone there to recognize the forward movement of my actions and activities. And while they may say nothing next thing you see… is them attempting to do it. EVEN if they’ve spoken ill of me. EVEN if they’ve painted me to be a horrible person, because I WONT PLAY THE GAME THEY WANT ME TO PLAY.
I am the one…that comes out on TOP. Often I’ll tell a person what I did and EXACTLY how I did it and they’ll try to do it that same way and they mess it all up. Mainly because they’re not me. And so what is in me is missing, because it’s not in them…
I’m still an alpha, I’m just not an alpha when we look at the social set up. But I’m an alpha because I move you. You don’t move me. Even from outside of the construct. I cause movement. And I’m not bossy with it. Ever.
I married a man who’s more this kind of alpha than I am. We are a good match. They talk SO BAD about my husband. Don’t they? lol
But they try to BE him. They try to do what he’s done, move the way he moves in life. And they crash and burn. And it makes them hate him even more.
We are…an effective team.