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Banning Bossy? Give me a break.

May 7, 2014 in Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

 

Ban Bossy Site 
“When a little boy asserts himself, he’s called a “leader.” Yet when a little girl does the same, she risks being branded “bossy.” Words like bossy send a message: don’t raise your hand or speak up. By middle school, girls are less interested in leading than boys—a trend that continues into adulthood. Together we can encourage girls to lead.”

Bossy — Kelis

Definition of Bossy: 

boss·y

1  [baw-see, bos-ee]  

 

adjective, boss·i·er, boss·i·est.

given to ordering people about; overly authoritative; domineering.

 

Origin: 
1880–85,  Americanism; boss1  + -y1

Related forms

boss·i·ly, adverb
boss·i·ness, noun

Synonyms 
highhanded, officious, dictational; overbearing, abrasive.


So now they’ve got this entire campaign on removing the word bossy, in an effort to promote women to be leaders. 
Please make note of the definition above — NOT just authoritative, but overly authoritative. There’s a DIFFERENCE. See the SYNONYMS?? ABRASIVE. OVERBEARING.
No. The word should NOT be done away with. 
ANYONE in my entire life that I’ve considered “bossy”, has been someone who had those qualities! They talked about these types of children organizing the play of others — but whenever I played with a bossy child, if I got tired of playing with them, or didn’t want to do it THEIR way, they’d get MAD. They didn’t want to do it any way but their OWN. They weren’t “nice” play mates. Alot of other children may have been more than happy to comply and do what they wanted. But if you DIDNT, you were kicked out of the circle. You were snubbed, isolated and ostracized…
They want to take the word bossy and point it at women like Oprah or Beyonce and other successful women of our day. But I’ll tell you, the women I grew up with who were bossy, they aren’t doing ANYTHING. They aren’t SUCCESSFUL. They are alpha females in their tiny, hood neighborhoods. Queen to a set of bitches who aren’t doing any better than they are. Still, years later, doing everything this one person wants to do. 
I’ve seen bossy. I don’t like bossy.
I’ll play along for a while, but at SOME point, Rebecca’s gonna wanna do what Rebecca’s gonna do. And if you and your bossiness obstructs that in ANY WAY — I’ll plow you down.

In the socially accepted understanding of the term, an alpha is the head of a social system. Everyone does what the alpha wants. The alpha is stronger than the rest, and is able to subdue the others with that strength in a myriad of ways.
I get it. 
But MOST of the time I am pretty much on the outside of whatever the social system is. I am NEVER popular. But I am KNOWN. And while my actions may not necessarily be wicked or vile, I am more INFAMOUS than Famous. My reputation has ALWAYS preceded me. And what’s amazing to me, is that becoming an adult has not changed that.
People are still bossy. And I’m STILL infamous. OMG.

I don’t get along with bossy people. I’m a leader — people listen to me. People try to emulate me. They may not ADMIT it, but they know it’s true. I do what I want. I move how I want to move. There’s always someone there to recognize the forward movement of my actions and activities. And while they may say nothing next thing you see… is them attempting to do it. EVEN if they’ve spoken ill of me. EVEN if they’ve painted me to be a horrible person, because I WONT PLAY THE GAME THEY WANT ME TO PLAY. 

I am the one…that comes out on TOP. Often I’ll tell a person what I did and EXACTLY how I did it and they’ll try to do it that same way and they mess it all up. Mainly because they’re not me. And so what is in me is missing, because it’s not in them…

I’m still an alpha, I’m just not an alpha when we look at the social set up. But I’m an alpha because I move you. You don’t move me. Even from outside of the construct. I cause movement. And I’m not bossy with it. Ever.

I married a man who’s more this kind of alpha than I am. We are a good match. They talk SO BAD about my husband. Don’t they? lol 
But they try to BE him. They try to do what he’s done, move the way he moves in life. And they crash and burn. And it makes them hate him even more. 
We are…an effective team. 

I’m Blind to You…and You Can’t See Me…

March 2, 2014 in Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , | 1 comment

I’m<a href=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLgfrrsa5QU”&gt; blind to you</a>…

I see many things very clearly right now.
Most people that dislike me, dislike me for no REAL reason. You see — I don’t dislike people until they do something to ME, directly. 
When you do something to ME, or my FAMILY — then hey, I’ll dislike you. THAT MAKES SENSE, RIGHT?
People dislike me for the following reasons: I’m smart, I’m slim, I’m attractive, I’m successful, I’m nice, and most importantly, I have a connection to The Most High.
A friend of mine said, when you deal with conflict and when you’re forced to deal with it publicly, who your friends are and who they aren’t becomes quite evident. 
 
When the Hebrews read about The Messiah, they were excited and looked forward to His coming. 
When He came — they were jealous of Him, and hated Him and sought to kill Him (and succeeded).
When all I did were videos and blogs about polygyny and other related issues, people liked/loved me, and were excited at the idea of chatting with me in these facebook groups.
When I came — people became jealous, they now hate me, and while they don’t necessary seek to end my life, they’d certainly like to kill my character.
(I am not remotely saying I’m anything close as awesome to The Messiah. I’m saying this is what happens to ANYBODY who ends up being “too much” for those around them to digest.)
And yet — the more I wake up, the stronger I become. The more you show me yourselves…the more I understand myself and my relationship to this world.
I know better now, than to come down to where they are. NO THANKS — until I find people similar to who I am, I will not bother to converse with those that plot for my demise.
When I become something bigger than I am now, don’t say you ever knew me — you never did. You never tried.
Those that like/love me, believe me when I say I like/love you back. If you bear me no ill will then I, too, bear you none. 
But I Don’t Like People Who Don’t Like Me. Never ever. N That’s a Fact.

Something is wrong with Humans

February 7, 2014 in polygamy, polygyny | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I don’t understand people.
I have EXPERIENCE in DEALING with people. I know how to handle them.
But I don’t understand them, no.
I’ve handled people and their attitudes toward me since I was in the second grade.
I KNOW how to identify a friend versus a messy person (who would, in essence, be a friend to NO ONE).

Okay — let met explain what happened AFTER our break up. Maybe it will clear the picture up a little bit —

So we’d broken up, but as I said a few entries ago, we were all three still in contact, daily. Talking on the phone, having good conversations. She was still telling him she loved him, saying she didn’t know how she was going to get over him, saying she missed us. People were still skype-ing (I don’t skype. I’m shy. *shrugs* I’ll DO it but I don’t like doing that).
We saw online that she was on a flight to Maryland. She lives in California. She hadn’t told us about any travel plans — but hey, we weren’t together anymore, right? So okay, that’s fine. We assumed she was visiting family; she has family on the east coast.
She calls and talks to him on the phone both before leaving and after she arrives in Maryland. She calls him when she first sees snow — because she’d never seen snow before, and she thought it was beautiful. She wanted to share that with him. She called him, later that evening, to tell him, AGAIN, that she loved him very much, and didn’t know how she was going to get over the situation.
The next morning, there’s a post on Facebook in one of the polygyny groups. The post talks about a single woman in the group, of no name, who has been flying cross-country to have sex with various men, also in the group, of no name. The creator of the post expressed disgust and displeasure.
When WE read the post, we thought it was talking about HER. It made us feel bad for her, and he immediately wanted to warn and protect her.
So he called her, to tell her that there was a post, and no matter how it sounds, WE hadn’t said anything ill about her to ANYONE — but someone ELSE may have, and someone may have been trying to make her look bad.
They got on the phone with each other and start having regular, jovial conversation.
But he started to hear whispering in the background. And so, mid-sentence, he’s like “–who’s that whispering in the background?” It was a regular inquiry with no suspicion of anything weird.
But when she heard the question, she hung up on him, immediately.
He called her back. She picked up. “What did you say?” she asked. “The phone cut out and I didn’t hear you.”
So he asked again, because the whispering was still happening. “Who is that whispering –” then he stopped. He realized it might be a man. So he asked “– who did you go to Maryland to see?”
And she hangs up on him, AGAIN.
So he calls her over and over probably 4 times. Then he stops and he texts her “If you don’t want me to call you, let me know.”
It’s still no big deal — he just doesn’t want to mess things up for HER, if she’s seeing someone. But she hasn’t SAID that she’s seeing someone…
Who responds to her text, through the phone, is the GUY, this asshole who we’ve gotten into it repeatedly on facebook. He’s a complete pompous ass in his response, as well, he’s like “Don’t text her anymore, she doesn’t give a fuck”, and something like “I stole your woman she’s in the bed with me right now”, and “you better watch out before I take the other one” (talking about ME — I would NEVER be so disloyal in my LIFE to EVER consider leaving one man for another man that HATES HIS GUTS. I have NEVER been that kind of person).
My husband responds with something like “I’m not surprised” and he calls me and tells me about it. I FLIP OUT. How DARE SHE? I HEARD her on the phone the night before, I HEARD what she’d said! How you claim to be in love with someone, but you in the bed with another dude? How you claim to be a FRIEND and love people, and you don’t tell them that this is what you plan to do, and who you plan to be with?
We’d only been broke up a week. And this dude, in the text, is calling her his WIFE.
I called her phone and cussed her out because she was too cowardly to even pick up the phone. How DARE you let him say the things that he said to him?? WHY would you do it like THAT? Do you HATE us? Y’know what I’m sayin? (like we’re really talking right now)
I went on facebook and messaged her a whole lot of angry things, and then I texted her a whole lot of angry things and that asshole dude RESPONDED for her AGAIN. She’s such a bitch for that I don’t know what to do right now it’s been months since that happened but HELL YEAH I’m still mad when I think on it too hard.
I couldn’t write it any time before now because I get SOOOO angry about it.

So a week later, the polygyny group hosts a women-only friday night conference call. And I get on the call and everything is amiable. When I speak, SHE responds “OMG! Hiii, Rebecca!” — speaking to me as if that was okay.
I flip out AGAIN.
And everyone thinks I was wrong for that but FUCK — what if it happened to THEM? Let’s see how THEYD react!
So we’ve cussed each other out completely on the call, ruining the call completely for everyone else.
The next day, she runs on facebook and into the groups and starts saying mean things. Her little stupid fat friend with her fat face starts joining in. I don’t know what SHE has to do with anything, but she’s a horrible person, because she likes to get into other people’s business when she was no where in the situation at all.
We have all been on thin ice with each other, ever since.

ALOT of the people don’t believe anything I say about the situation, because they feel they know her. She’s so-called “honest” with them, and so-called “real” in their book — because she talks about sex with them and they all get real crass and vile and nasty when they talk about sex — and I don’t do that with THEM, because HEY — I DONT KNOW YOU LIKE THAT. WHY DO YOU NEED TO KNOW WHAT I LIKE AND HOW I LIKE IT? I talk to my CLOSE friends about stuff like that, but I’ve known them since elementary school. I DON’T KNOW THEM.
She talks to them on the phone and I am SIMPLY not a phone talker. My besties and I don’t talk on the phone often, what makes you think I wanna talk to you when I don’t know you? You want to get to know each other? Move here and we’ll meet up face to face and then we’ll know each other. But I’m not a phone-chatter I got other things to do…
So they believe her off the bat and claim I’m not consistent with my personality (because when I’m angry, I will flip out on you — what they don’t know is, I’m like that FACE TO FACE I’ve fought ALOT in my life, and if I get angry I’m quick to possibly yank you real quick, depending on how I feel at the moment). I am whoever I am. It is whatever it is. However I feel is how I feel. I’m NICE, when you meet me. I’m pleasant. Most no-good people will think I’m weak, when they meet me, and they’ll try to take advantage of me (there’s a girl online and she just thinks I’m an idiot. She’s bossy and she’s curt and rude and tries to get me to do things SHE wants me to do, and then she likes to talk about me behind my back to the point where people have to tell her to calm down on that… smh and that’s why when she does messiness and I am aware of it, I go ahead and let people know she’s being messy. Because I’m NOT stupid, I’m just not a messy little prick. That’s all).
I am. WHOEVER. I am. And it IS. WHATEVER. It is.
These people who are so quick to believe everything this girl says (that she says because SHE’s hurt because she hurt US, and she feels BAD but can’t bring herself to just ACKNOWLEDGE how messed up that was, and how she feels BAD about it… so she seeks to make us look bad) they believe her because THEY NEVER LIKED US IN THE FIRST PLACE. We’re fit, we’re attractive, we’re striving for success. We travel, we are well-read, we are liked by NICE people. People from the polygynous groups on facebook, when they come to town, they meet up with us, and they GENUINELY like us. Because we’re REAL — we SAY we homeschool our children, and we DO and it’s OBVIOUS because our kids are EDUCATED and POLITE. We SAY we have a store and we DO and it’s OBVIOUS because our customers LOVE US and they ALWAYS speak well of us. We SAY we travel and we DO and it’s OBVIOUS because, well because of the pictures, of course lol and the fact that, for example, my husband went and climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro, reached the top summit, and ended up in the newspaper back in his country for being the FIRST of his countrymen to summit the mountain…
Our friends and family members are great people (we’re all only lightly dysfunctional and every family is lol), but they’re all nice and good people and don’t tend to try to ruin other people’s lives with their antics. Not typically. lol

So at the end of the day, I’m always feeling blessed. And people hate us for who we are and how we area and they’d feel better if we were how she wants to describe us right now…

Okay. That’s what she did. That’s why we were hurt. NOT the break up. That was never the problem and was INITIATED by us.