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We’re great.
She’s great.
We talk on the phone all the time, on the texts and FB msgr. They’re trying to work out a schedule because him and her, they are pretty much on the phone all day long. I don’t mind either way; it’s been me and him for a decade lol. I be right there (you like that bad English? WHATEVER I BE RIGHT THERE) when they talking.
She’s going to try to come and visit soon. I REALLY hope it all works out and that she will come (NOT like that LAST sister that claimed to be coming and then dropped out 45 minutes AFTER we went to pick her up at the airport!!).
She’s goofy, like me. Three dorks, together it’s hilarious.
We Skype/tango a lot. Whichever works better.
She likes to discuss and debate; she’s smart and has opinions.
No secrets. Fears and concerns are discussed. Because — we’re all westernized beings…and change, while painful, is cleansing.
He and I, when we met, we moved fast. She likes to move fast, too. So we will SEE what becomes of us.
I told them both, tho — that I’m getting old (ha, only early 30s but whatever). If this doesn’t work out, I may not do this again. Because when I get used to a person being in my life, even if it is just long distance like this is now — and it doesn’t work out and so I lose that person in some kind of fashion, my heart hurts. I am sad. I was SAD and DEPRESSED and we just stayed AWAY from courting.
So I don’t know if I wanna do it again, if this doesn’t work out.
WE ARE OKAY WITH NOT HAVING ANOTHER WIFE.
That’s not the depression.
It’s the same depression of any relationship break up. Why the break up? It wouldn’t matter — whether she did something or we did something or if it just was a mutual break up — I’ma be SAD man I’ma be soooo sad.
It’s like — you get married and you feel like you should never have to deal with breakup sadness again… with Nasi — aka, the Girl that Didn’t Exist (they call them catfishes now), major break up sadness, no closure… I have to set apart with myself to gain closure from even friendships when they dissolve…
So I hope and pray it all works out. We have a good time with this sister, she’s funny and corny and so are we. It’s easy to laugh with her. And it’s easy to be serious with her, as well, because she’s smart.
Where she’s from — she’s like the rose and grew from concrete.
What is concubinage?
Back in the day my only understanding of concubine was essentially a slave wife.
Many of us have been discussing this type of wife and how she is in our society today and the conclusion (so far) that has been made is that she is a woman that is otherwise not worthy of being a full wife, or not worthy of getting the benefits of a full wife.
She’s perhaps not very smart, perhaps she’s been promiscuous, or not the same belief system, or perhaps she doesn’t do wifely duties very well. Perhaps she wants her independence (like “Strong, Independent, BLACK woman” as the songs always tell her she is) but she still wants this man. Or he still wants her. In any sense, therefore she is not wife material.
That’s not a good state to be in, in my opinion, and really, in the opinion of MANY of the sisters I know.
The sisters I know, they all want to be wives (if they aren’t wives already). One sister is concerned that she will only be in concubine status because she has children from a previous relationship (she is divorced).
But after reading her posts and seeing her intelligence and her heart, many of us existing wives consider her a valuable asset to any family she joins. It’s just that certain brothers that consider themselves righteous are looking down on her because of these things.
She doesn’t want to be a concubine and I don’t know any women that are pro polygyny that want to be concubines.
I know some Hebrew Israelite brothers that sleep with a woman who is not Hebrew, and THEN tell her “You’re my concubine”, thereby devastating her. It’s like a trick they’re pulling. Sleep with her. Then pull this “I own you” type stuff.
NOT cool and doesn’t seem righteous to me.
A righteous man does NOT mistreat his women and does not trick women.
I”m kind of blabbering here.
If a woman is not wife material, simply don’t have sex with her. Make her wife material. Or make her a wife and then work on her but heavens I have yet to meet a woman that’s happy with concubine status.
Here is the FULL STORY of the TWO women we courted. We are not gamblers?? We went to Vegas once and were irritated when we won $5 and then lost $6. We never gambled again and that’s what it’s like lol, actively looking. So we take it easy now. IF someone were to come, so be it. But if it never happens, that’s fine too. 🙂
We did not mention names and I didn’t want to mention anything too particular in order to continue their anonymity…
The video is an hour long — first half for one potential, second half for the other.
Yah bless!!
Sister Wife is a 2000 documentary that follows the Hebrew Israelites, an African American community that immigrated to Israel and practices polygamy. The men can have up to seven wives. The film follows a couple that’s been married for 21 years as they decide to take on another wife.
As I have been perusing the group discussions over the past few weeks, I have taken notice to (what seems to me) an almost incessant unrealistic romanticizing of polygyny by sisters. I’ve read about desires and daydreams of sisters wanting to ‘hang out’ with their sister-wives…frolic in the garden together …smoke blunts together…participating in “threesomes”, etc, etc. Polygyny, as it pertains to the Afrikan (especially here in America), is nothing to play with, take lightly, and should certainly not be injected and infected with the eurocentric created fantasy of romanticism. What I haven’t heard too much of from some of the *sisters* who post to this group is what they will do to CONTRIBUTE to what should be the one of the main intentions of entering into an Afrikan-centered polygynous lifestyle – ECONOMIC GROWTH AND STABILITY.
While each wife has their personal and intimate relationship with their husband, daily life should be about the business of running the family/household in a *productive* and conducive manner, and contributing to our community with the ultimate goal of collective nation-building. What MARKETABLE SKILLS are sisters “coming to the table with”, or are currently in the process of obtaining? The reality is, if the husband is not wealthy, he cannot and definitely should not be expected to be the sole provider or the only one who contributes a *steady and substantial income* to the family unit.
Sisters, it is absurd and unrealistic to have a romanticized notion of “hanging” with your sister wives all day, while your husband is out working two or three jobs to provide…this contradicts one of the most important reasons for polygyny, as it pertains to the Afrikan. Such a situation will also hinder the husband having time to build and maintain a close and solid relationship with his children.
Sisterhood is the nucleus of an Afrikan-centered polygynous lifestyle, however, this should not encourage a eurocentric, “sorority” mindset from the sisters, as it does absolutely nothing for the advancement of our community and culture. It is common tradition in our culture that the wife maintains the home, therefore, it is very important that sisters have spent sufficient time honing their domestic skills in preparation for marriage. In a polygynous family, depending on the number of sister-wives, it is practical that at least ONE of the wives are designated to maintain the home, homeschool the children (if that is the agreed upon method), and prepare wholesome meals, while her husband and sister wives are at work.
Sisters and *brothers*, the INTENTION for entering into a polygynous lifestyle should be made very clear PRIOR TO the commitment. Brothers, please do not fall into the trap that many sisters set by convincing their husband HE should be the sole provider and all of the wives are needed to stay home – this is not fair and is extremely counterproductive.
There is no place in an Afrikan-centered marriage (polygynous or monogamous) for any eurocentric ideologies of any kind, including fantastical romanticism.
~ Anissa W.
I personally MISSED THIS?
I didn’t even see this on the radar?
But even if it’s just this video, I’m glad I saw it. I loved every minute of it, I loved the older family that’s been together 30+ years and how they’re doing well and they’re HAPPY and NORMAL, I loved seeing the spokesperson for the polygamy advocacy group… LOVED IT.
AWESOME.
Enjoy!!!
I’m kind of frustrated right now. This society would accept me if I were a lesbian. They would accept me if I was a swinger. They would accept me cheating on my husband, or my husband cheating on me.
My husband is like “I don’t want the kids to get picked on.” How many kids these days are coming from households where they have just “two mommies” or “two daddies”??
And you know that, if you see a family like that at your child’s school, you’d better not say NOTHING. “Oh that’s her partner”. Yeah.
But when a man makes a commitment to two women, to be faithful to them both –
And when they are friends and sisterly toward one another –
Oh no, that’s wickedness. The kids need to be taken away, THAT family needs to be investigated!!
*silence*
This society is sick.
The Potential – I like her. Really, I do. She’s smart, she’s attractive (I don’t like to hang out with ugly girls lol. Shallow, maybe but it’s at least the honest truth! I’m not perfect!). She is able to debate with as much strength as we debate. She is reading/has read a ton of books. I really think she has a lot of value and a lot of skills that could be brought to the family.
I know I didn’t feel any kind of way when they were on the phone. Will I feel some kind of way when she visits? Or if he visits her? When they go out? If they kiss? If they fall in love? If they have sex with each other while I’m in the other room?
I don’t know. We have all said it before: we are taking it ONE DAY AT A TIME. We are TAKING IT SLOW.
I don’t know WHAT I’ll feel. Let’s be honest; when I was of the world I shared men before, I’ve been the other woman, I’ve been the booty call, I’ve been cheated on, I’ve been in the “we’re all friends so I can do him and you can do him and we’ll just all be friends” thing. I have never really felt anything against a woman who was involved with a man I was involved with. (not even the cheated on situation; whenever I found out, I was always cordial with ole girl) Why? I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I’m comfortable in myself. I know I’m attractive. I know the brothers are always looking at me. But I think I find comfort in knowing my place in the man’s life. When I KNOW that whatever our relationship is, is what it is, I’m cool. I am NOT cool when I think the relationship is one way but come to find out it’s a totally different way.
Examples – with B.J. (how many of you know BJ?? How many of you have “known” BJ? Hmm?? More than a few of my “Friends” have known him lol) we were all friends and it was cool. When I got cheated on (Merrison, Malcolm), I spoke to the ladies and we were actually quite friendly (still friends with one… you know who you are, sister-girl). When I was the “other” woman, I didn’t necessarily do it to hurt anyone. I just wanted what I wanted…and was pretty childish about it, trust that I know it. When it comes to covert relationships like that the “other” woman typically has no loyalty to The Universal Sisterhood of Women… I know that now, and I am truly sorry for the times where I was that woman…
So I feel that I’ll be cool, even in a situation where I am sharing a man at this day in age. I have always DONE ME, whatever that was; I have never cared what people think about who I’m doing, what I’m doing, or how I’m doing it. I have two words for the haters F—Yall. If anything I do with MY life makes you h8 me or not want to be around me, you were NEVER my friend to begin with so what does it matter? F—Yall. Forreal lol. *Don’t make me put on the dress lol*
I’ve let you be gay I’ve let you be a hoe about it I’ve let you cheat in your lives and while I *may* say my say that doesn’t ever mean I have foresook you as a friend. I DON’T HAVE HATE IN ME. I love you however you are. That is ALL I expect in return from any of you knuckleheads.
But – if that’s too much –
Thou knowest what thou canst do.
KICK ROX lol.
Okay so during Sukkot my husband called our potential-potential. They had a pretty good conversation, considering the fact that my husband doesn’t just “chat” on the phone.
The last person I know my husband to spend an hour on the phone with…was me. When we first met.
I came looking for a diaper at the tent and there he was, on the phone with her. I quickly left. He says he was surprised that I didn’t stay and “listen in”.
What did I feel? My husband chatting it up with “another woman”?
I didn’t feel anything like that.
I was shocked.
It was her.
There was NO jealousy there. I felt something. But it wasn’t jealousy. It was…hope, I suppose.
I don’t know what it was. Whatever it was, it wasn’t bad. Not at all…
Shalom!
Well, a young woman on youtube contacted me with some questions and I was so intrigued by our dialogue that I just put it out on the table for her. She was shocked and I asked for a picture of her to show hubby, who was also shocked.
She sent a picture and he finds her very attractive.
We have been chatting back and forth for about a month or so now. We only recently exchanged numbers. My husband will call her as soon as we have a moment; if you were not aware we are currently in our holiday season. We follow the moon by eye-sight, so we coincide with the kairite jews and the yemenites who do not follow any rabbinically created hebrew calendar. So for us, Sukkot is starting Sunday night, October 4.
We will be out at Joe Pool Lake with HUNDREDS OF OTHER PEOPLE. Some are families we already know.
We invited our potential out but she has to work. Another time; she is many states away.
None of us are “used” to long distance relationships.
I really hope this works out. I pray for Yah’s Will to be done in the matter and I pray that, if this be His Will, that she be a good match for our household.
If no one’s seen her blog, there is a young lady who is wife #3 that has a blog, called Megan’s polyblog. She just found out she’s pregnant, 6 months into the marriage. They’re all happy.
Since we have been in a time of repentance I’ve had to do alot of soul searching. I have to make sure that I am where I need to be, spiritually. It is very hard, still living in the world and not being “of” the world. This walk certainly can get lonesome. I AM peculiar amongst my friends, to the point where they pick at me about it.
I mentioned possibly going to an associate’s pool party. The reply “There’s pork in the pool.”
I mentioned possibly going to this lounge in town, Joyce Lounge. The reply “Sounds like a religious lounge.”
When we through our little W&C get together alot of people didn’t come. Apparently someone speculated that it would be a “religious” thing.
Wow.
So. I am alone.
But y’know what?
YAHSHUA SAID I WOULD BE ALONE.
He said you’d lose your family and friends, following Him.
So I can’t be TOO bad off, right?
I Praise His Name. I Bless the Name of YAHWEH!
WHATEVER HIS WILL IS, I am happy to follow Him.
We will have a good Sukkot. I am praying that all goes well for us out there and that Yahweh is glorified in our fellowshipping and worshipping of Him. And I pray that we are all edified in our understandings of things…
Shalom for now…
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