You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘Monogamy’ tag.

As I have been perusing the group discussions over the past few weeks, I have taken notice to (what seems to me) an almost incessant unrealistic romanticizing of polygyny by sisters.  I’ve read about desires and daydreams of sisters wanting to ‘hang out’ with their sister-wives…frolic in the garden together …smoke blunts together…participating in “threesomes”, etc, etc.  Polygyny, as it pertains to the Afrikan (especially here in America), is nothing to play with, take lightly, and should certainly not be injected and infected with the eurocentric created fantasy of romanticism. What I haven’t heard too much of from some of the *sisters* who post to this group is what they will do to CONTRIBUTE to what should be the one of the main intentions of entering into an Afrikan-centered polygynous lifestyle – ECONOMIC GROWTH AND STABILITY.
While each wife has their personal and intimate relationship with their husband, daily life should be about the business of running the family/household in a *productive* and conducive manner, and contributing to our community with the ultimate goal of collective nation-building. What MARKETABLE SKILLS are sisters “coming to the table with”, or are currently in the process of obtaining? The reality is, if the husband is not wealthy, he cannot and definitely should not be expected to be the sole provider or the only one who contributes a *steady and substantial income* to the family unit.
Sisters, it is absurd and unrealistic to have a romanticized notion of “hanging” with your sister wives all day, while your husband is out working two or three jobs to provide…this contradicts one of the most important reasons for polygyny, as it pertains to the Afrikan. Such a situation will also hinder the husband having time to build and maintain a close and solid relationship with his children.
Sisterhood is the nucleus of an Afrikan-centered polygynous  lifestyle, however, this should not encourage a eurocentric, “sorority” mindset from the sisters, as it does absolutely nothing for the advancement of our community and culture. It is common tradition in our culture that the wife maintains the home, therefore, it is very important that sisters have spent sufficient time honing their domestic skills in preparation for marriage. In a polygynous family, depending on the number of sister-wives, it is practical that at least ONE of the wives are designated to maintain the home, homeschool the children (if that is the agreed upon method), and prepare wholesome meals, while her husband and sister wives are at work.
Sisters and *brothers*, the INTENTION for entering into a polygynous lifestyle should be made very clear PRIOR TO the commitment.  Brothers, please do not fall into the trap that many sisters set by convincing their husband HE should be the sole provider and all of the wives are needed to stay home – this is not fair and is extremely counterproductive.
There is no place in an Afrikan-centered marriage (polygynous  or monogamous) for any eurocentric ideologies of any kind, including fantastical romanticism.
~ Anissa W.