I’m trying to write about it. But speaking on something in the moment when I am angry or upset, is just really hard.
Today’s my birthday. Happy birthday to me. I haven’t had a bad birthday it’s been a very good birthday; I’m happy about that.

I’m put out that people want to believe the lies this “chick” is saying about us. ONE person only RECENTLY tried to come and hear my side of the story, but it’s like, too little too late. Noooo, don’t come here NOW, to hear from us our side.
Nooo.
Forget it.

So let’s see. What’s she saying about us, out there in the SMALL SMALL pond?
She’s saying that it’s all sexual.
Because she KNOWS that in the black polygynous community, that’s the WORST THING someone can say. For a man or a couple to ONLY pursue polygyny for the sake of sexual gratification is a predatory nature. If consenting adults want to agree that that is what they are going to do, then that’s what they want to do. But polygyny is about building a family, building an empire with the right set of people (one man, multiple women).
This is particularly irritating to us — we half-way courted two people before her, both of which we never met in person. So REALLY — phone chatting all day does NOT equal courting, when you compare it to the real thing.
So in 8 years of interest in polygyny, we have ONLY courted her, when you look at it like that.
She claims that Cepha only went to California to have sex with her.
This is funny to me. We haven’t courted anyone in 8 years besides her, and besides her, and me, Cepha hasn’t had sex with anyone. In EIGHT YEARS. He didn’t go down there and rush into this with her. NO. She ASKED him, BEGGED him, talking about “I want to feel you inside me.”
Now people want to be upset with him about that nonsense, as if she isn’t an adult with her own mind. What man, who is attracted to a woman, and that woman, who’s also attracted to him, is saying “I want you inside me” and they don’t do it?
Let me stop to point that out — they LIKED each other. THEY LIKED EACH OTHER, PEOPLE! Don’t let her lie to y’all and say she didn’t fall in love with him. She did. That’s why she’s so upset and trying at EVERY TURN to have access to us, saying horrible mean things so maybe we’ll “address” it with her, or have some sort of mediation or reconciliation. ANYTHING!
That was CONSENTUAL. They are ADULTS and she’s no shrinking violet.
She gets real vile and vulgar with her words. I’ve NEVER been that person. I’m talking about this right now mainly because the people that are talking about us are a bunch of assholes. But you have NEVER seen me in a conversation about sex with a bunch of people I don’t know like that. I talk about sex with my CLOSE friends. I’ll talk crass and vulgarities with THEM. So this is as much as I’ll say on that subject. When she went there with me I couldn’t even say anything back because that’s not how I roll. I can’t go there; I just had to leave.
So anyway — she says it was all about sex — meanwhile we were all looking for a house for her and her kids, since she refused to discipline her kids when they would act up. So he was going to STILL keep her, even tho she wasn’t doing what he wanted her to do. She would fake agreement with him, and then tear him down behind his back with other people who DIDNT LIKE HIM ANYWAY. What kind of team-player is that?
But he was going to KEEP her, tho.
AND he was going to get her a car. He already knew which car he was going to get her.
But it was all about the sex, though.
And we’re so BAD — but the other day she said we were her “prototype” family, tho.
WHY WOULD YOU HAVE A PROTOTYPE OF A BAD FAMILY?
She says I hate my husband, and that I “knew” she’d never listen to him.
She told Remez a bunch of stuff about us, BEFORE we’d called it quits with her, and he used it against us in the last argument we’d had with him.
What he’d said — it was us — but it was a DISTORTED VIEW of us.
If that’s what she got from her visit with us, then you have to account it to her broken mind. What’d she tell Cepha?? — that she’d never seen family like that before. She’d never seen a REAL man before. So she didn’t know how to act. She was right. Her family — excuse my french — but they’re fucked up. She knows they are. So no, she knows nothing about what a family is supposed to be. That’s why when she got in our house and saw all that was going on, she froze.
And no — I don’t cry every day. SHE cried every day, because it was pretty much a culture shock for her. I cry when I’m angry or frustrated. Cepha and I had TWO arguments while she was there. And being that we’re both strong individuals, and being that I’m not one to immediately back down (and fake agree with him…smh I told you not to do that), when we argue, the arguments are HUGE and ENORMOUS. We got into one argument when we went to the house I grew up in, that’s being sold — and WHY AM I EXPLAINING THIS TO YOU?!? ANYONE WHO THINKS MARRIED PEOPLE DONT ARGUE ARE *LYING* — WE ARE NOT PERFECT WE PROBABLY ARGUE ONCE A MONTH. But anyone who’s been married for a substantial amount of time will tell you that the ONE thing understood about those arguments is that you are STILL TOGETHER at the end of it all. Aint no way I’m leaving because of one or two disagreements. I love him too much. I like HIM, more than I’ve liked any guy, ever. I love him, and I like him. He is the SMARTEST man that I’ve ever met.

She’s mad at Cepha and “hates” Cepha because Cepha TOLD her about herself. And he doesn’t mince words. Her husband has said some of the same things that Cepha said about her as well.

And “why’d” we choose her? Her friends are asking me that? That’s messed up to even ask that. First of all we didn’t choose her, she chose us. She said it was because I defended her in an argument in that polygyny group 8 months before we actually courted her. I went on and messaged her, since she’d dropped a couple of hints in the women’s group. Then I told her to send Cepha a friend request. Who knew she’d lie to us and on us? Who knew she’d act the way she did when she was staying with us? Who knew? You can’t know these things. You dont know NOBODY until you live with them.

We courted her because he and her, they got along and they LIKED each other. We courted her, because she and I, we got along well. Why does anyone court anyone? You can’t know anyone from phone calls and skype.
Y’all don’t know her.
The sex was not the focus. It shouldn’t be YOUR focus, either. It’s your focus, because you’re nasty. Had she done what she was supposed to do, he was going to keep her. That was the plan. Had she taken my advice (like she’s doing now, with someone else, where she doesn’t really have a friendship with her co-wife…smh), he would have kept her. Had she listened to him about leaving a certain Georgian family alone (where the wife is significantly younger than the husband — something she said disgusted her…Cepha told her to stop picking on them and she refused to stop), he would have kept her.
And THAT issue was the LAST straw.

If she’s a team player NOW, it’s because of seeing what WE had. If she’s being loyal NOW and not tearing her man down behind his back at every turn, canoodling with people who don’t like him — that’s because she learned. If she’s waking up in the morning to make sure he’s got what he needs to go to work — that’s because of us. She had no interest in doing that. She LAUGHED at the book I sent her — Created to Be His Helpmeet, by Debi Pearl (GEMS for women who wanna be wives).

The only reason I’m talking about it, is because someone comes in my inbox to express concern to me about the situation. REALLY, what I want is for it to be DONE, I’ve tried to close the door on this about 3 times but people wanna stir shit up.

DONT TALK TO US ABOUT HER, DONT TALK TO HER ABOUT US. YOU WANNA HELP??? LET THIS SHIT DIE, MAN IT’S *OVER*. IT’S DONE. #TEAMNNF UP IN HERE LOL. I don’t ever want to talk about her to anyone again, after this.

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