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*This isn’t for the FLDS or any communities of people where polygyny is a part of everyday life. They don’t need this post at all. This is for those of us who are living in places where polygyny is either new, or taboo, or largely unknown.
People with young children will be able to transition into polygyny pretty seamlessly, because young children don’t know anything about monogamy or polygyny, they only know the culture and world you build around them. Children older than 9 will probably have to be re-educated if you haven’t begun having conversations with them regarding multiple wives already.
With younger children, it helps if you have a belief system of some sort where there are people that have more than one wife. Bible stories feature men that have multiple wives, and of course the Quran has Muhammad, with all of his wives. There are African stories from various tribes that talk about multiple wives. All you have to do is speak about it and let them know it’s something that happens, it’s regular, and, according to your beliefs, it’s allowed/okay for your family to do it.
With the older ones, educating them on the subject of polygyny along with the stories is good. Because if you’re new to this and are just now pursuing it, you have to acknowledge that almost never in your child’s life have they seen or heard of a man having more than one woman outside of cheating. Also, you must expect them to have opinions on it, already. You have to allow them that but you must also CORRECT their view — there’s nothing wrong with polygyny among consenting adults. It will be harder because children of this age, if they aren’t homeschooled, typically care a lot about what their peers think. The fear of being seen as different may cause them to be totally against your polygynous leanings. Their concerns must be taken into account.
Always keep open lines of communication with your children; if and when you actually get into a polygynous relationship, sometimes stop and ask them how they’re feeling, how they feel about it, how they feel about the person/people you’re courting, etc. Take their responses into account, if they don’t like the person or the situation, delve into that and consider their motives (if they’re OKAY with polygyny but they’re like “Mommy — not THEM!” find out WHY).
Children must be instructed to respect all of the adults in the marriage. And for the adults, you should do best to keep a united front on all things in front of the children. I would advise this for all parents, regardless of relationship structures. Families, They are not allowed to disrespect your new wife. Women, they are not allowed to disrespect your new husband. Nip it in the bud and show consistency in your actions about that any time they may step out of line. If you treat children fairly and with equity amongst them, you shouldn’t have any issues out of the ordinary with them.
These are my suggestions!! Be Blessed!!