There will come a time when people may have a disagreement. The question has been asked time and again — when the other two are arguing (let’s say there’s a family of two wives one husband), what are YOU supposed to do?

Do you A)let them sort it out themselves? B) take a side? C) mediate?

Most people vary between A and C.

Me, personally, in my own situation, I tried to mediate — both parties would come to me, and I’d try to build the bridge between the two. I think that it worked a lot less often than it didn’t. But I just hate it when I can see that there’s clearly been a misunderstanding and that some assistance in communication could help the two clarify their points and come to some solution.

Now me — when he and I argue, I think people should STAY OUT OF IT. We’ve been married 10 years and we’ve known each other for quite a while. I don’t think anyone who hasn’t been with us THAT long can tell us anything about each other — you’d have to be with us for a few years before you’d be able to lend us a hand in that situation.
Just be there when we cry or need to vent and that’s all.

So what am I saying, exactly?
I mean — you can stay out of it. I am a firm believer of the 1on1 relationships standing on their own feet. The relationship between my husband and this woman could not stand on it’s own feet. (It COULD HAVE. And I’m not saying that there’s only one person to blame? But there are a lot of things she could have done that she chose not to… we’ll talk about that another time.)That relationship over there has to be able to work ITSELF out. You don’t HAVE to feel obligated to assist with that.

You’ll end up being the hinge. And me, I never wanted to be the hinge. So I was in an uncomfortable place.

Alot of things I’m going to talk about over time. Writing and talking gives me closure and peace.
So… until next time, peace be unto you and unto you be peace.

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