So people who half-way know the situation that happened between us and this woman, they say frustratedly “Move on, just accept the fact that she wasn’t right for your family”.
That’s what they say.
They say that, because they don’t know what all happened. And when they speak to her, she makes it seem as if that’s what we’re mad about — that it didn’t work out.
No. That’s not the problem at all. The fact that she wasn’t right for our family was quite evident after a little while. We kept giving chance after chance and she kept saying that she could hang but after a while it was obvious that she couldn’t. To be honest, my husband kept trying to break it off with her, and salvage her feelings on the matter. This went on for a while.
And I really — REALLY REALLY — want to purge myself and talk about the entire situation, from the problems in the relationship to what happened AFTERWARD (which is the REAL reason our very friendship was torn up.)
I’m thinking about it. Yes.
People want to say, when they hear the whole story “That’s not a good look for either side”, trying to not make their friend look so bad. But no — this isn’t a good look for HER. SHE ends up looking BAD when you see the entire thing from beginning to end. Alot of stuff that she wants to make matter don’t matter when you see the big picture. And small-minded, ignorant people that want to focus on those miniscule things are also not looking at the entire thing. One frayed end does not overtake the pattern of the entire quilt. You have to see the quilt in it’s entirety.
So perhaps I will lay out the quilt here and let people see it.
If I do, I’m just going to copy and paste a conversation I had with a good friend of hers on Facebook. I said everything to this girl because I knew FULL and WELL she would report EVERYTHING I said directly to her. She thinks I told a ton of people the exact words I told her friend. I didn’t. I told HER with a PURPOSE. (and then she wants to come tell me about some fake, late-night conference call where what I’d said to people had been read to her… no — just be honest, your FRIEND told you what I said, because I WANTED IT THAT WAY. I WANTED YOU TO KNOW WHAT I SAID. NO ONE ELSE COULD HAVE TOLD YOU BECAUSE I DIDN’T TELL THESE THINGS TO ANYONE ELSE. Once again, LYING.)
If I decide not to, I RESERVE THE RIGHT TO LOSE INTEREST IN PROJECTS. I’m flighty on some things, like a faerie — I might find something else much more interesting to deal with.
But the idea is on my mind this morning, and I decided to type out my considerations on the matter.